On my middling days, when a larger painting would be too draining, I can dabble in a journal and it still feeds my hunger for creativity. In my art journals I will work on many pages at a time, sometimes flipping back and forth, sometimes leaving something and going back to it later with some sudden inspiration about what it needs.
Art is one of my favourite ways to challenge myself to accept the real me. My art has changed and evolved and I began painting what I thought I should paint. It took me awhile to find out what I wanted to paint and the strategy that got me there was painting big and fast as I mentioned in my last post. I started that strategy with tempera paint and paper as it was relatively inexpensive and was okay to just toss out work after awhile. I still like tempera, gouache and water colours and still work with them, but have added canvas and acrylic paints to my repertoire.
One of the features that stands out to me in my art is that it is very feminine. I favour circles, organic shapes, and flowers. My flowers are nearly always pink or red and I love poppies or roses for their blowsy shapes. There is a sense of spring and of sunshine. I'm sure my previous days as a gardener are involved here. Spring was my favourite time as I anticipated all the new growth and eagerly spent hours outside after a long wet non-gardening winter. The colours, shapes and themes I chose when I allow myself to paint fast and free, are the ones that make me happy and the ones that feel true to me. I still enjoy painting something outside of my comfort zone, something that requires more thought and planning. Sometimes a painting sits unfinished on my easel for a long time while I wait for the inspiration to tell me what it needs next. I usually have several projects going on at once because most are in a state of being unfinished.
The images below are paintings I have kept and not painted over. They are the ones that feel the most authentically me and I can see that in them. I instinctively want to apologise for their being so feminine. But I shut my mouth. I know that isn't what I should do but it's still a journey.