Thursday, 3 April 2014

Tits and Ass (are briefly vaguely mentioned here, sort of)

It's a beautiful sunny day, and just perfect for rambling.  Oh not through the countryside, dear me no!  Just in my head.  I ramble there often.  It's much less tiring than going anywhere physically. In fact today I am even sitting down to show you my rambling outfit.  Not because I am tired, which I am, but because I have misplaced my belt and thus my lovely cropped skinny jeans (yes I am that fashionable) keep sliding down and giving me plumber bum and droopy crotch, which is not fashionable and I think even the teenaged boys have abandoned the look.  You see, I am more a woman of boob than bum.  I do not have enough bum to hold up my pants.  Back in the day when tiny little bums were fashionable I was told I had a nice one. Now, it is a shameful thing that can't even do it's basic job of holding up my jeans let along bouncing gloriously down the street.   But enough about my bum.


Here is my new-to-me sweater, which I love but I think is a type nobody under 40 would wear.  In fact although it is an old lady sweater, no stylish old lady would wear it. There is a name for this sort of lacy stitching that is usually seen in the middle class/middle aged woman shops with names like Lydia's Boutique.  However it is so soft and comfortable and such a pretty colour and I am not under 40 nor am I a stylish old lady so I am wearing it.  And the bonus is that I already own earrings that go with it.

The earrings were a gift from a student who, now that I think about it, gave me two pairs of earrings and a pretty scarf all featuring pinks in the warmer range.  It has been said that everyone can wear coral pink.  I am skeptical of that.  After all, not everyone can wear one size fits all tights.  But here I am happily wearing my middle-aged-woman-does-old-lady coral sweater and coordinating earrings while sitting down in order to keep my jeans on.

Lovely earrings-wire wrapped stones in a dark coral/orange tone-a gift from a student.

In the same consignment shop where I bought my stylish sweater, I also bought a stunning, deep blue dress that is tighter and shorter than some would say a 47 year old woman should wear.  I have no idea where I am going to wear it but somebody had better take me dancing.  At least I don't have to worry about it sliding off nor go about hitching it up constantly as I am with today's jeans.  Where in the heck did I put that belt?

In other exciting news I cleaned out my fridge today, disposing of ancient and mouldering vegetative matter.  It was a fridge in the sort of state you might expect to find in a bachelor pad.  I managed to get it all into the garbage bag without vomiting, and then I even schlepped the bag outside and down the long drive to the bins.  All while using one hand to hold up my pants.

And more other news:  I'm not painting much, at least not on canvas or paper, though quite a bit in my head.  I'm writing though.  It seems I cannot do both on the same day or in the same week...or month.  Writing stories in bed at 2am....well it's a good thing I'm single.  I'm reading again too.  My brain does not always cooperate with that endeavour.   I'm just finishing up the book recommended to me by the stunningly coiffed Jan of Fort Smith Stylista who is short but never short on style: The Thoughtful Dresser, by Linda Grant.  I have many thoughts on this book.  I wonder who will benefit from them? Probably my mother. Lucky mum.

Thanks for joining me on this little ramble.  Considering the brain we just rambled through it was quite fortunate we did not get lost.  Do come again.

28 comments:

  1. Just love your writing. Would be very interested reading your stories written in bed at 2 am.

    Coral/salmon is a great color, I love it, and it is wonderful on you. Pretty sweater! I disagree that it is so "middle-aged". I think it looks pretty and sexy. Feminine. Spring-y.

    Cleaning one's fridge is huge amount of work. You did well. Especially considering holding your pants with one hand. :) Have you watched The Vicar of Dibley? There is a wonderfully fun passage about "the impossibly tiny bottoms club" in it, remember?

    I think many of us would appreciate your thoughts of that book. You won't believe it, but I actually have just purchased a book myself! Not just a book. A FICTION book!

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    1. Thank you for enjoying my writing. I find it a bit of a challenge to accept that I am "publishing" first draft. Every time I re-read I want to fix or alter something. It's a good exercise in letting go!

      What book did you buy?

      I am not sure about sexy, but I don't think I have to look sexy all the time. That would be a bit much and I have to give the other women a chance. ;-)

      I LOVE The vicar of Dibley. It's one of my favourite shows and I have seen many of them but seem to have missed out on impossibly tiny bottoms. I'll have to find it!
      xo

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    2. I dunno Shawna... with such a decollete... looks pretty sexy to me! :))) But no, we definitely don't have to always look sexy, but it is nice when we do, especially if we are not trying. :)

      I adore The Vicar of Dibley too! "Autumn" is probably my favorite episode (do you remember the fridge full of ice-cream? hard to beat that!), and it is also one of my favorite shows ever. It's on Netflix and Amazon (free if you have Prime membership there).

      I'll probably write something as I finish the book I bought. It is very funny and sweet, and I am glad that I found it. I won't say the title before I finish reading, OK? :)

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    3. Of course the reality is that I stumble out of bed in the morning look dead sexy and my cat agrees! Vof D is one of my favourite shows ever and I am also mad about Doc Martin.
      I am looking forward to hearing about the book you've read. I am dying to know if I've read it too or have it in my collection. Confession time: I have over a hundred books in my not read yet pile and I still buy more books sometimes. It's my little (not so little) stash of candy that makes me happy.

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    4. Yep, Doc Martin is another favorite too. But nothing is quite like As Time Goes By! :)

      I used to collect books just like you do. There are probably still dozens of unread books, which I bought back in Russia, at my parents'. I have my own little library here too. Books can be wonderful. Like friends. The best of them can be even our soul-mates. Books, I mean. But friends too. :) I used to write down quotes which I felt were helping me to understand life better. Sometimes, it is just one paragraph or even one phrase from a whole thick book, but it helps you in some way... It's very different for me these days. I much prefer my own company, with my own thoughts and visions - or even better with Justin. I will prefer a conversation with him to any book any time. Just in a very different place in life these days, that's all. :) But the book I started reading is quite sweet and entertaining, at least at this point. We'll see how it goes! :)

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    5. I have a lot of time, so I can incorporate time in my own head, time in the company of a loved one and time to read all into my day quite successfully. And although I am a mother, my son is an adult and does not live with me. Books have always been a place for me to escape to but they are also a catalyst for thought. I also enjoy certain writers and their styles so much that reading them is like viewing a piece of visual art. Some of my favourites are Iris Murdoch, Margaret Atwood, Alice Munro and Tom Robbins. I hope you enjoy your book right through to the end.

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  2. darling shawna!
    morning smiles imaging you schlepping out the garbage in sliding down pants ;-)
    thats one of the reasons why i don´t wear jeans. i cant stand a belt poking in my belly and braces look odd with big bosom...
    love your sweater, the airy knit, the lovely color. there is no need for rouge/blusher when wearing this.
    i wish i could find here something like this that is not polyester.
    i have a love for granny fashion since childhood - plissé skirts, lacy sweaters and blouses in dusty/powdery colors, cardigans to live in, clumsy shoes, handbags the size to carry a small dachshund in. headscarves.
    I believe if you dress "older" than you are, you look much younger as if you´r "young dressing". it´s a play with what people expect....
    xxxx

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    1. Those jeans are going in the donation pile. They are worse than most for the slipping! Only I fee a bit evil doing that. I think I should put a warning label on them.
      I guess I have a bit of an attraction to granny fashion too. I love crocheted tops and cardigans. My own grandmothers didn't dress that way though. I am not sure any of them ever wore a pull over sweater. One wore blouses and cardigans and the other blouses and jackets. I used to have a small dachshund-actually dachshund/yorkie mix. I never put her in my handbag thought I once put the cat in there.
      When I was a teenager I dressed like a thirty year old with an office job. It certainly wasn't what people expected but I don't think it made me look younger. LOL
      xo

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  3. You'll get some interesting blog search terms, now you've used that post title!
    Hope you find a belt, we don't want any bum-flashing incidents while taking out the rubbish... The sweater looks pretty, although coral isn't a colour that features much in my wardrobe. Why is that? I must not be drawn to it, don't really know why! I am looking forward to seeing the tight short blue dress - please show us soon. Just wear it around the house, I never find being overdressed much of a problem! xxx

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    1. Actually I am quite disappointed that my stats page doesn't show me the blog search terms. It always says data not yet available. Perhaps that means my only hits are people finding me through other blogs. Anyhow, any lustful men looking for T and A will run quickly when they see the granny sweater.
      I can't really imagine you in coral, so I'm not surprised it isn't in your wardrobe. I'm sure the next time I take out the garbage, a short tight dress would be the perfect thing to wear.
      xo

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    2. I seem to have been the victim of a poor search result on blogspot. This is not at all what I was looking for. ;-)

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    3. Hah! You cheeky thing! Don't be silly. I am everything you have been looking for.
      xo

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  4. Shawna this post made my day as I completely saw the image in my head of you taking the old fridge stuff down the driveway while holding up your jeans. Laughing feels so good. Have a fantastic day and I hope someone takes you dancing!

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    1. Thanks Glenda! Laughing does feel good and I am so happy to have made a few people laugh today! I hope your day is great too!

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  5. I ramble in my head constantly. And I don't know, I like the pink sweater, but then gain, I'm 40!

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    1. You are clearly headed for that land called Over The Hill, where dementia and granny sweaters await. I'll pour you a glass of wine when you get here!

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  6. That sweater needs love! WE middle aged broad will bring that style back. The ear rings are gorgeous. As are you. Thank you for linking up! -Bella Q

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    1. Thank you for dropping by to visit! That sweater is like wearing a soft blanket grandma knitted for the baby. I will give it lots of love and dare anyone to tell me I am not oozing sex appeal while I wear it! ;-)

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  7. Had a great chuckle over this post ... I think we must have very similar body shapes ... and therefore very similar issues with our clothing.
    xx

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    1. Not too many women get both boobs and bum in the deal. It's usually one or the other and if you are a celeb it's best to get the bum and buy the boobs. I have to be careful to get jeans that don't have too much lycra in them. Those seem to be the ones that slide off, like a pair of tights that don't quite fit. We both have red headed sons too! Adorable ones. Mine is more strawberry blonde.
      xo

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  8. We are fridge twins! I did mine...grim stuff indeed - we all need a comfy jumper, the coral is lovely and suits you, and the jeans issue? I don't think I ever had a pair I didn't hoist and pull hehe, I gave up years ago! I hope we get to see the dress, it sounds fabulous! love the rambling, I'm always at it! x x x

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    1. I think I can only claim to have done half the job. I cleared out the scary stuff but haven't yet wiped down the shelves. The lower rise jeans are much more likely to slide down, otherwise my hip bones will help keep them up. A belt helps if there isn't too much lycra in the mix but I'm looking forward to the slightly higher rise coming back into fashion.
      xo

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  9. Hi Shawna, I like the lacy knit jumper, it's a pretty colour and feminine and goes well with the dark blue jeans - good idea to sit down if the jeans are a bit loose. I haven't read a book in ages, I just can't seem to settle my mind to tackle a book at the moment. Good to hear your fridge is no longer a health hazard and achieving this with one hand holding up your trousers is no mean feat. Have another sit down. xx

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    1. Hi! thanks for dropping in. My fridge is no longer going to tempt any amateur scientists looking for signs of life. I go through periods where I can't read books and usually read magazines then. Especially ones with lots of pictures! I also alternate as to whether or not I'm in the mood for fiction or non-fiction.
      xo

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  10. I think you pull off coral very well! Imo, not everyone can wear the color, but it looks really good on you. Thanks for leaving the brand info about that shirt of mine the other day. I love hearing about that sort of history.

    Wendy B gave me the heads up on Willie Smith after I thrifted a piece from that brand. Little bits of fashion history in my closet!

    I hate when I forget about things in the fridge. I've got some Chinese leftovers in there now that are probably overdo to be tossed into the trash.

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    1. Thanks, Megan. I like a vote of support for my old lady sweater! Throw out those leftovers before they are vomit inducing. Some of mine were older than I'd care to admit. About four cough cough months cough. The more time went by the more I really didn't want to open those containers but of course I had to wash them and reuse them cause I'm a green warrior like that. ;-)

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  11. How I loved reading this. I feel like I got a chance to sit right down in your brain for a bit.

    Personally I always thought a small butt and big boobs was *the* thing. That is what Pam Anderson has : )

    Love those earrings.

    bisous
    Suzanne

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    1. I went to high school with Pam. Technically she is actually a butt girl because she had a small bust in comparison with her butt. She bought the breasts, as we all know. However she is also ( like me ) a product of the eighties when the big boobs, small butt thing was in. Now the hot bodies are people like Sofia Vergara, J-Lo, Beyonce, Kim Kardashian, who are all about the butt or have made certain to have both. LOL-clearly I have had too much time to think about this.

      Thanks for visiting. I'm glad you survived my brain!
      xo

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