This wall is visible from my sitting room and I love it so much. When I moved in it was just a big blank white wall. It's at the end of my kitchen opposite to my little art nook. I do not love this crazy kitchen floor I have but I will be living with it for a long time. It is cork tile and comfortable under foot but it damages about as easily as a soft vinyl or linoleum floor does.
But as usual, I have digressed.
Sue's comment tied in with a conversation I'd been having with my mum the day before. I have a bit of a history of friendships (including a marriage) with people who did not accept me for who I am but rather loved me for how they saw me and then became angry with me when I did not always fit their mould, did not think or behave the way they wanted me to. All of these relationships ended messily with me quite hurt. Fortunately I am tougher than I look and I recover well. Mum wondered aloud what it was that I repeated, what did I chose or fall for over and over again that leads to these bad relationships. The answer came to me immediately without any thought because of the words mum used.
"I didn't choose." Yes, that was it. In all of the cases where I have been hurt and felt betrayed by someone who was supposed to love me, these people had pursued me, practically courted me. Was that flattering? Hell yeah. Did that appeal to me because it was easy? Hell yeah to that too! My two closest girlfriends are women I have known for over a decade but took a very long time to become close to. None of us are extroverted, outgoing, forward or assertive when it comes to making friends. We danced shyly around each other for years. Discovering that we have things in common, a deep mutual respect and affection and that these are friendships that are real, has been a slow and meaningful process. Loyalty based on these true feelings means everything to me .
I am me and that is that. It took longer than it should have, but I found people who see that me and are still sticking around.
And I am not really me if I am not wearing something brown. I know, I know, I LOVE purple, I really like blue and green and red, but I am a very earthy person and I love brown too.
I started out in this outfit which is all thrift except the sandals. But I was too cold.
I had to add some layers and in this photo I accidentally cut off my boots, but you know these boots so you can just imagine my feet. In this case everything is second hand but the long sleeved tee shirt.
Linked up to Second Hand First at The Citizen Rosebud!