I have mentioned before that I am an introvert who often functions like an extrovert. In many ways this was necessary to perform my job and now that life has changed I have been able to behave a bit more true to my nature and am enjoying that. Still, somehow I have to find a way to balance my love of people, the deep affection and joy in the company of family and friends I hold dear, both online and off, with my persistent need to retreat and withdraw and the fact that I can and will feel regularly overwhelmed by social interactions. The Christmas season, a time generally associated with parties and people and events and frantic shopping, is a difficult time for me even though there are many aspects of it which I enjoy. For the past three years I have held a Winter Solstice party for a group of about ten friends, my one annual event to demonstrate my love by providing a cosy home, a warm fire and homemade food. In my world food is love and if I love you I feed you. I feed you things I have laboured to make giving careful consideration to your tastes and preferences. I find this exhausting but deeply satisfying, however this year I did not have my party. In consideration of my struggle to keep my head above water the past few months and the fact that many of my friends find this time of year overwhelmingly busy, I have deferred my party until February.
Christmas is a very low key event in my world, for which I am grateful, and although it came and went and was quite pleasant, there is little to show or tell of it. I enjoyed the company of my son and my parents and a little more food (chocolate) than I would normally eat Over the past month I have mostly spent time alone, often exhausted but sometimes able to indulge in bursts of creativity. I have done some painting.
All of the colours are very much inspired by the look of winter here, and as usual the subjects are mainly just from inside my head. The small painting is inspired by, though not a replica of, the view of sky, islands and water that I see from my windows.