Saturday, 3 January 2015

Going With the Flow

Lately I feel like I am drifting, coasting, floating but although that can have negative connotations, a sort of non-effort laziness or compliance I don't feel that way.  I feel serene and peaceful and yes, bloody exhausted too but I like to put a positive spin on things.  So let's turn exhausted into peaceful, shall we?  Perhaps it is a winter hibernation sort of thing, but I am drawn to all that is soft, subtle, muted and calm right now.  This isn't actually unusual, it is just an aspect of who I am that is coming out strongly.  I do have a theory.  It goes something like this:

I am a very dual natured person, which I indicate in my profile by calling myself a bubbly introvert.  There is an aspect of me that loves fun, spontaneity, rich and colourful visuals, singing and dancing and laughing and the company of people.  It is there and it is real but it is not actually my dominant nature.  I rely on this aspect of myself when I need to push forward.  I used it heavily in my career as a teacher and employed large doses of it in the past four and a half years as I embarked on a new life as a divorced woman.  This vibrant person will never completely go away but she is taking a break now.  She does not work full time.

The more dominant aspect of my nature is introverted, reclusive, soft, quiet, gentle, subtle, seeks peace and calm and a muted, soft environment both visually and in tactile ways.  She is asserting herself now, telling me that it's time to let her come back.  It's safe to let her come back.  She knows what she wants to wear, where she wants to live, who she is, where she belongs and that she is strong and can survive.  She knows she can even thrive and that she is actually lovable.  She does not have to be someone else to be safe.  In order to prepare for her return I have been making the environment suitable for her.  There has been a softening of my world and if feels right.

 Outfit photos are just not working out lately.  Not that I wear anything photographable very often the light is so poor I just can't get an accurate representation of colour or a nice photo.  If I could show you photos the point would be that I am wearing soft colours, soft textures, things that drape and often choosing neutrals. Navy, grey and taupe are favourites.


Abstract art lately looks like these:

20 comments:

  1. I love the colours in your art ... wouldn't it be great if you could turn them into fabric and wear them.
    xx

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  2. Hello Shawna! How great to hear from you! How lovely your abstract paintings are, v much like mizzling and atmospheric!!! X

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  3. Your abstracts remind me of Monet's pieces. The first one is very peaceful...the colors used. Yes. I too am an introvert, and I love being one. I much prefer intimate settings with close friends over the big party scene. However, there are times when I will get out there amongst the crowds and really enjoy myself. But, when it's all over, I retreat into my world of peace and quiet so that I can recharge. Those closes to me understand.

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  4. Hi Shawna, lovely paintings. I am drawn to the third painting more, the cool blue shade and touches of brown and purple look really nice together. I also like a bit of peace and quiet. Back in Africa a lot of people use to say it was pride they could not understand why I kept to myself. lol.

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  5. gorgeous pastels!
    around here - before turbo-capitalism hit - the people really got in some kind of hibernation after the x-mas holidays. the used to stay at home and get creative - we still have wonderful evidence of this in form of wooden and textile folk art pieces. it´s very natural what you feel, and you can feel it because you´r out of the rat race. i love how you use this quiet time to to be kind to yourself!
    and when the sun is more present in 2 month then you have a good base to enjoy a outer life again :-)
    wish you a cosy time!!!! xxxxx

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  6. Happy New Year, Shawna! Your art would make for a fabulous fabric, you could drape yourself in your creations. xxx

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  7. We all go through different phases. No need to explain yours. You sound serene which is enviable. Happy New Year.

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  8. Shawna, so glad to see you and see (and even, it seems, hear...) your inner journey. Thank you for sharing! The pictures look wonderful, really capturing - I want to look and look at them... To me, art is all about feeling. Your art is full of feeling! I am also very glad to see your lovely face, it's an amazing and rare photo - your bare honest face, just as you are, it's like seeing you soul to soul...

    I absolutely can relate to what you are saying here. I need a lot of me-time on a regular basis, and I have created a life which provides me with it. It took some time, efforts, bravery and honesty to understand it about myself. That is why I admire that you are making your own way in life, the one which is not copied from anyone at all, truly genuine one. I know it's not always easy, though perfectly natural.

    I want to thank you for your warm, lovely, thoughtful and so generously kind comments. You make my heart warm, you make me feel loved. That is huge. Wishing you a peaceful journey in 2015 - and beyond of course, continue finding your own voice and making your own path in life. Hope we'll meet soon. xxxxx

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  9. You don't have to show us outfits, or explain why you aren't doing so! Sharing your art is a lovely thing to do, Shawna, especially when it is so beautiful. A quiet, thoughtful, creative time is just fine. xxx

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  10. Hi Shawna,

    Happy New Year to you too, all good things for you for 2015!
    Love your art, i wish i could immerse myself into art like you do
    Don't worry about not showing outfits, i'm not exactly out there lately as well
    Love whatever you are wearing and love reading about you

    Arianexo

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  11. Your abstract artwork is lovely! As of late, I personally feel I'm in a slow-down phase. It's strange to me, but I'm totally going with it as I trust it's what I need. :) T. http://tickledpinkwoman.blogspot.com

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  12. There is definitely a cosy, cushiony, hibernate vibe around Winter. I love your abstracts. It's fun to create ambience and feelings isn't it? I love to paint fabric and walls as well! I am also bubbly introvert. Bushy tells me I have a home persona and an out persona. People would be surprised to see how tired and cranky I can be at home, after a day of warmth and charisma toward others. I envy your solitude at these times, wishing I didn't inflict my reaction on my closest family. xo JJ

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  13. Happy New Year Shawna. I love that you are going with the flow of how things are meant to be at the moment and reflecting that in your art and your home. Wishing you peace and contentment in 2015 xx

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  14. Actually, it would be spectacular to turn your abstract art into textiles. I would wear them in a second!
    It's okay to be introverted (psst, I'm really kinda shy; truly). Just know that you are appreciated for your candor, simplicity, and talent ;-)

    Happy(ness) 2015!

    Alicia
    spashionista.com

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  15. Ah, Shawna, you're in a Manet mood, painting in a Manet mode and expressing what is truly a *seasonal palette*? Will figures reappear when spring warmth revives you and life again becomes visible?

    I'm a pen-and-ink person myself, so winter is an inspiring time for me. This morning I nearly froze my fingers filling the bird feeder because the birdy foot prints in the snow suddenly became calligraphy -- and I can catch a haiku the way some people catch the 'flu. (And I caught that, too.)

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  16. Ooooh, those are lovely! The texture is everything, isn't it? This must be making you very proud of your quiet, soft self! Your photo looks like a possible back-book-jacket pic of the famous author. Lovely!
    Honestly, I've always thought that introvert-extrovert duality is only very broadly correct. I'm clearly a bouncy, loud extrovert, but I need my considerable swaths of time alone to do all the independent activity I love, much of it creative in it's own way. I'm confident in front of the public, but I need my solitude, too. I get what you're saying completely, and it seems only a matter of degree in the difference between our "types".
    I wish you a peaceful and joyful start to your New Year, and all the best things 2015 has to offer afterward.

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  17. Winter blues! :( You look lovely in your drapey clothes, and I hope that you can get around to taking more outfit photos when the lightening is better! :) Hang in there Shawna!

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  18. Shawna, I love your abstract art!!!! I'd love to see more!

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  19. Happy New Year!I so like the way you describe your feelings. You are so clever with your emotions. I recognise this dual nature in me,too. And it's not at all a bad feeling.Being creative seems more and more important to you ,isn't it?

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  20. Shawna, I know exactly what you mean. Serene, lazy, relaxed, whatever you like to call it, it's one of those moments in life where you feel like a rock...an unmovable rock that just wants to exist and vegetate :D Or at least I think you feel like that, cause I often feel like that :D
    I love the abstracts, especially the last one! Reminds me of Winter ^^

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