If one more person makes a suggestion for treatment, as though I am not doing everything that can be done already, or have not tried and abandoned all sorts of nonsense out of desperation, if one more person says to me how they envy me and would love to have this leisurely life, I will be so angry I will....I will...probably write about it in this blog. I am not actually any good at anger, though I am pretty skilled at being indignant. I also have some reasonable skills for coping and I'm going to share them, along with my skills at layering.
It really helps to be flexible, to be able to see things from a different angle if you find yourself frustrated by where you are. Not only can I lean to the right in a doorway, but I can also lean to the left.
So in keeping with being able to lean left or right, I am reminding myself that there are other angles I can take on my frustrated days. Instead of trivialising what I do when I am less able, I will remind myself that it is all part of how I seek inspiration and fuel for creativity. Whatever I am taking in, whether it is imagery or text, is all part of what feeds my experiences that influence output. It is easy for me to get focused on output or lack of it and to forget that I need input as well. Yes, I wish I could have a bit more input from walks in nature parks or at the beach, or losing myself in a crowd downtown. But focusing on what I do have instead of on what I don't have is a much better way to remain happy and so I remember that every little bit counts. On some days I take creative baby steps.
I make notes on my ideas
I collect inspiring images online.
I write in my journal and don't worry if it makes sense or not.
I read things in small chunks so as to better process them
I plan an outfit to look forward to wearing on my next non bedridden day.
If I can spend a couple of hours in a cafe, I can people watch and eavesdrop.
I have learned how to adapt, just as when I was a teacher I would adapt the environment or lessons for students with special needs; I must adapt things for myself as well. For some reason, possibly to do with the low blood volume a person with ME supposedly has (my blood volume has not been measure but my symptoms fit the low blood volume theory) I can often function better mentally or regain some physical energy by periods of lying down. I can still read and write when lying down though admittedly painting in bed is not ideal. I may not read and write as well, but I can dabble at it. Or lying down all afternoon may allow me to paint for a few hours in the evening.
The require attitude adjustment is that all of these little bits feed my creative output. They have value and I must recognise it.
And now, here is the intellectual version of today's outfit. It is accessorised with glasses, a serious frown and a double chin.
And while Coco Chanel may have preferred to take one accessory off at the last minute, I am usually inclined to add one or two. In this case, I added a leather bracelet and my watch.