Monday, 31 August 2015

The Best Laid Plans

 I went out dressed like this, actually rather hoping to be INvisible.......

                         Posing secrets:  If dying plants are not available use cat toys as props.

I had Sunday planned out.  I was going to a favourite cafe where I would treat myself to brunch and an Americano, settle into my favourite corner and read blogs.  I did get to the cafe and I did have a nice brunch and coffee.  But I didn't even get my laptop turned on.

There was a young man sitting in my favourite spot but the table next to him, which is almost as good, was available.  I slid into the bench seat and aplogised for crowding into his corner, thinking perhaps I should explain that I need a corner, since there were plenty of other empty tables in the room.  He smiled and indicated that this was fine and that normally he did not choose the corner but it had been his only option when he arrived.   This should have been my clue that perhaps I was not dealing with a kindred spirit, a corner seeking introvert, but an extrovert who'd had to make do.  I am not sure how it happened but it came out almost immediately that he was writing fiction.  His laptop was open on the table and perhaps I politely asked if he was writing something or perhaps he just told me.  I don't recall but I do know that I found myself saying, 'oh I write too'.

Immediately he wanted to share his work with me, and I felt awkwardly for a moment that perhaps he thought I was an actual published writer, an expert but I just smiled and said, "sure, yes I'd love to hear what you have."  He explained that it was more of an outline, plans, descriptions, because it was fantasy and he had a whole world and its creatures to invent.  I listened to him read and I took in most of it, though the Sunday musician at this cafe is rather loud.  I made appreciative and encouraging comments which I do not recall and then somehow we were deeply involved in a philosophical discussion.  He was full of ideas, examples from history, quotes, bits of knowledge and facts that he seemed to have stored away, encyclopedia-like, in his brain.  I certainly did not agree with many of his points but he talked quickly, threw out his historical examples which I was not equipped to debate and so the best I could do was to constantly question his theories.  At times it was a challenge to take them all in and at first I was a bit intimidated.  Eventually I discovered that there was a great deal of bafflegab going on.  Like a good politician he did not answer my questions directly, but went off on tangents with more historical examples, Ghengis Khan this and Hitler that, Aristotle said.... and so on.

Some of his opinions and ideas were offensive to me but then I too have opinions that would offend some.  We managed to keep it a friendly debate/discussion though at times it was difficult to tell if we were in agreement or disagreement.  I blame the bafflegab.  Eventually the conversation worked its way to aesthetics, which he seemed to consider frivolous and vain.  Any time I mentioned that different people have different aesthetic preferences so there may be some difficulty agreeing on how to construct a theatre or a town hall in his utopian society, he informed me that no, the best and most perfect people would know that function is beauty.  I maintained that the theatre across the street from us did indeed perform quite well as a building to house a stage and an audience but that I found its appearance left me cold.  This apparently meant that I am vain and have bought into the trap that all women fall into where they think appearance matters.  How I did not slap him at this point I do not know.

Despite a number of annoying moments, I did enjoy the discussion and debate and three hours went by.  As I'd forgotten to put on my watch and had not even gotten to the point of turning on my laptop, I did not know the time.  Eventually I managed to sneak a look at his computer screen and discovered that three hours had gone by.   At that point I was late for meeting a friend and I could see that my cafe acquaintance, whose name I did not even know, would be able to talk forever.  I made my noises and motions of needing to leave and still he continued to talk.  Taking a chance in a small moment of silence I said, "Well I guess we haven't solved all the world's problems yet but it was lots of fun talking to you.  Good bye and take care."  I grabbed my bag and launched myself towards the door.  I am still behind in my blog reading plans but at least I have a story to go along with my otherwise random OOTD picture.

                                Let's randomly look at a different  corner of my home. 

There is actually a reason for showing this photo.  This is a very ordinary outfit.  Although I am wearing four different colours, they are subtle ones and the grey of the cardigan and the denim are usually read as neutrals.  It's just a tee shirt, cardigan and jeans along with my favourite shoes and a favourite necklace.  I feel as visible as I wish to be.  I do not feel invisible or more accurately I do not think about whether I am visible or not.  I am just happily myself like this and I suspect confidence prevents invisibility.

I hope to link up to Patti's Visible Monday more often this Fall.  If you want to visit some past Visible Monday's go here.


  1. Interesting story. I've found there is a huge number of people who desperately want to be heard and leap at social opportunities for that. Some, however, don't listen; some are not agreeable; and these folk forfeit the chance for real conversation. I'm surprised you hung in there for so long but, then again, you're polite and Canadian (which I know is a redundancy).

    When it comes to dressing ourselves, we select colors and styles that appeal to us. You seem to have figured out what you like for yourself.

  2. You were trapped by your kindness! I know, it happens to me all the time. I do love that wanna-be-invisible dress, so flowy and cool. xox

  3. I would not have lasted that long. In fact, I'm sure my facial expression would have dissuaded the man from continuing at all. I'm like that, resting bitch face when I think that someone I don't know is trying to converse with me. Yes, I'm antisocial like that.

    I also sometimes dress to be invisible. My common outfit is cutoff jeans and a tee with a baseball cap.


  4. at least, you have an interesting story to tell!, but I agree with Patti, you were trapped by your kindness!.
    I love how you style jeans and neutrals, and also love your shoes!. Comfy and cool!

  5. adventure ;-)
    sometimes i take up such strange conversations to polish my skills. but mostly i get bored by such self centered people. and when they write they always write together their own world. ;-)
    love that "invisible" dress, the cut, the colors, the color blocking. pure but not boring in any ways!!!! i myself gave up dressing to blend in. i always stand out, anyway what i wear. must be my body language. but i love a cool outfit created with neutral colors - it´s a great background for a face :-)
    still envy your fire place!!!!

  6. It's a shame you didn't lose track of the time because the conversation was so fascinating ... but it does take all kinds to fill the world ... and you do have your own story to tell at the end of it.

  7. Oh god. Although it sounds like it wasn't all bad, I would have died. You look super cute in both outfits though!

  8. Someone who spends that much time gabbing in cafes does not strike me as an actual writer - I could be wrong, he could be the next Dan Brown (sound like that sort of writer!), some people like to read big ideas without thinking about them too much! He sounds like a good character for a story anyway! :-) If I had to wear one colour for the rest of my life it probably would be gray, I love gray,it's so underrated!

  9. Your dress is gorgeous. I'm inspired to make one in the same style and use up some of my fabric stash! Ahk! I can't imagine "talking" to some stranger for 3 hours. You must be a saint. Or a Canadian.

  10. Just a question: did you spend all that time talking about HIS writing? Did he not want to know anything about YOUR writing? It seemed less a conversation to me, more like he just wanted an audience, preferably one that admired him... Stop being so nice, people will use that to their advantage. It's OK to be nasty to boring / offensive / self-centered people. You should try it, it's very healthy, and good for the soul.
    And I'm sorry it took me so long to write this comment, I read your post earlier in the week on my iPhone (but it's beyond frustrating to write comments on that thing...) and really wanted to say this...

  11. I sometimes enjoy long talks with strangers too, if there is feedback on what I say as well. I like to figure out what other people are interested in. It sounds like while you may have been annoyed, overall this was not a bad way to pass three hours. I don't regard it as polite; I regard it as curiosity. And you got material for writing.
    Your INvisible outfit looks visible to me. I suspect most other people in the shop were in yoga wear and sweat pants, which is also okay, but you still stand out in a good way.

  12. Because you are a Canadian I will make this comment without fear of insulting anyone. The person you ended up talking to is what I think Donald Trump will end up doing, sitting in cafes expounding his great knowledge to unsuspecting strangers too polite to tell him to STFU.(shut the F888 up)

  13. Oh god, psuedo-intellectual sociopath douchebags. Canada has them too? I had a European coworker once who I got into a discussion with about make-up and, gawd help me, *pants* because he did not believe in either, believing them to be "artifice."

    You're very nice. It sounds like I'd like discussing stuff with you too, sometime.

    Oh and clothes! The first outfit looks like a flowing earth tone dress. I'm digging the shape of the sweater you're wearing in the second, too. High-five for being Rieker ant-stress twinsies!

  14. Interesting story indeed! I do like this simple outfit, it's something I would wear myself.


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