My mind works in epiphanies. Aha moments are frequent. Little discoveries and realisations excite me and I am quite open to improving on them or changing them since that only leads to yet another 'Aha!' For years I felt a bit as though I must be a very dull person, as I am not a thrill seeker but....while I am not much of a physical thrill seeker I am a mental thrill seeker.
I am very much NOT in my own body. If anyone needs yoga, I do. I live in my head and this is partly, or perhaps entirely, why I have accidents. Usually they are minor. I trip over things, bump into things, walk into the door frame as I seemingly have no concept of how to allow for my physical self to pass through spaces. Recently I fell down the stairs. In trying to figure out how this happened, I can only say I was not in my body at the time and thus I somehow missed the last three steps. The resulting pain and my bruised, swollen, sprained ankles are currently reminding me of the body I tend to ignore.
I tend to mainly share self discovery on this blog. Sometimes I worry that it misrepresents me as a self absorbed navel gazer. But sharing my thoughts about other people isn't appropriate and I do experience the world in a self-centred sort of way as we all do. I experience it as me, with my senses, my thoughts, my interpretations and quite often my discoveries are about how I am functioning in this world. Those are the ones I write about here. Because I am willing to share personal things, to talk about my feelings and to explore them verbally or in writing, people often assume that I am an open book. In some ways I am, but I am a book that is open only to the pages I chose to show you. No matter how much I reveal, much more is hidden. It had not occurred to me until fairly recently that some people would not know this. I assumed it was a given but I suppose that for people who are a totally open book, my unreadable pages are not an assumption and for people who are closed books, the fact that I show any pages at all is unrelatable.
Although my interests are strongly attached to philosophy and psychology, I usually stick to personal image topics-style, clothing, colours, home decor. I cannot imagine giving advice or considering myself an expert on anything so I prefer to share information that I have gathered or describe what has worked for me. I could study a subject in depth for ten years and I would not consider myself an expert. Perhaps I never would as I am always so aware of what I do not know. I always see the 'what ifs..?' or the 'yeah, but this..' that makes every pithy statement on life interesting but ultimately unsatisfying.
The entry is so full of the word "I" that it's cringe inducing. In fact I very carefully typed that sentence so that it did not say "I am cringing". Seeing everything not as a fact or a given, but as just the way "I see it" makes essay writing a challenge. The standard format is to write all your opinions as an assumption. The statements should say "It is the case" not "I think it is so" and that is hugely difficult for me.
And thus I think that my I-focus is not as self centred as it may at first seem, but rather a result of my awareness that I am but one small spec of dust in the giant dust bunny living my life, making my observations, having my epiphanies and sometimes writing about them here.
Less Deep Epiphany:
If the internet is to be believed, everyone is trying to figure out how to look effortlessly chic. I doubt that, but still I have come to some conclusions (they may be temporary conclusions) about how to achieve effortless chic. There are essentially two methods.
Method One: The best method for most of us normal people.
Have deliberate hair and an anything goes attitude about your clothing. Grooming is paramount. Get a good haircut, something that looks intentional, flatters you but isn't time consuming or something that could get totally ruined in the rain. Use makeup that flatters and isn't obvious, but chose one of the following: a bold lip, exotic eyes, or one statement accessory. Wear anything you like so long as it is clean. Be confident that you look great.
Method Two: For models and the people who look like them.
Wear something expensive but simple looking, a bit shapeless but that's okay because you haven't got any body parts that get in the way and ruin the simple, clean lines. Use bold colours, geometric shapes, deliberately very stiff or very fluid clothing. Go for something slightly ugly like a drab colour or unflattering silhouette. Wear things that don't make sense like a giant blanket scarf with open toed sandals in winter. Keep your hair deliberately messy and unkempt, consider a bad haircut, no makeup at all and if you don't smoke take it up immediately. Be thin-that goes without saying, but I'm saying it. It's more important than being tall, young or pretty but if you can be those things too, be those
If you are not aiming for Effortlessly Chic:
You want to look like you made an effort because you did and you look awesome.
You want to look like you made no effort at all because you didn't and you don't give a feck.
If this is right for you then do that.