Friday, 25 November 2016

A New Painting

I am not a very disciplined person though I wish I were.  Much of my creating happens in spurts of inspiration, moments of  just having to write or paint because something needs to come out.  There are long dry spells where I just dabble and slide into negative self talk where I tell myself that clearly I am not a writer or a painter. 

I set the bar high, very high, and perhaps too high to ever reach.  At what point would I consider myself an artist?  If someone purchased something I'd created?  If some outside authority proclaimed me a writer or a painter would that then make it so in my mind?  I suspect not.  I seem to be prone to something called imposter syndrome.  I always think to myself, gosh how am I managing to fool everyone?  How am I getting away with this?  Any day now I will be discovered, revealed as a pathetic fraud just like The Wizard of Oz.

I put a photo of my latest painting on my Facebook page and am getting positive feedback I had not expected.   Today, I feel like an artist.  Today I feel that because I made something that has left an impression on other people, that I must be doing something right.  Most of the time I create for myself, or at least I create because I have to.   But art is communication and communication has to reach somebody somewhere, somehow, and all I ever want to do is connect with people.  To make something that someone responds to emotionally means everything to me. 


As usual, this is a mostly finished piece which I will probably observe for a month and may add to slightly.  I don't like to name my abstract pieces because I think that limits what others might see in it.  I believe that although I had an intention when I painted this, it becomes more than that when others look at it.  Having said that, it does have a name.

                                                              Inner Child

7 comments:

  1. Your painting is really interesting ~ I would most certainly buy a painting from you Shawna and I most certainly consider you to be an artist both in painting and in the written word.

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    1. Thank you, Lynn, you are always such an uplifting friend! The people in your life must just adore you! xo

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  2. That is just amazing. I love the colours and textures - the red "bleeding" down the side draws my eye. You're definitely an artist!

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    1. Thank you, Sheila. It really means a lot to me to make something that others respond to. xoxo

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  3. Shawna, as always, very moving! I love your paintings, and I am thrilled to see the new one! I think this self-doubting self-talk is a common thing for creatives. We need to push through! It isn't easy on some days. On others, we know who we are - we have no doubts. I'm sending you warmest hugs and lots of love. You ARE an artist!

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    1. Thank you for the love and hugs and as always the support. It's true what you say and perhaps without the self doubt we would not create or we would become stagnant. Sending love and hugs right back! xoxo

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  4. I think it's beautiful Shawna! I have never tried to paint anything other than watercolours when I was a kid. Anyone with artistic talent like yours should feel free to paint whatever they feel like, you are so lucky! :-) xo

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