I tend to like to correct people. My instinct is to point out when someone is in error and provide the facts or missing information. For a long time I privately and sadly thought that this was because I am a secret jerk. Why else would I want to do this? Most of the time I refrain as I am quite aware this is no way to win friends and influence people. My inner voice was quite harsh and certainly the outer voice, also known as my mother, kept me in check as well. I was raised with a good understanding of what makes people comfortable and how to achieve it as well as the concept that the most desirable thing is everyone's comfort.
From the point of view of aiming for harmony and smooth sailing, this does make sense, but it happens to go against most of my instincts so it isn't too surprising that I might conclude I am some sort of secret bitchy person who must be restrained at all times.
Nobody is actually harder on me than I am on myself and secret fears that I am horrible only point to my desire not to be horrible. At the same time the desire to be true to myself is also strong. Learning about MBTI and continuing to learn about cognitive functions, a related and perhaps more in depth parsing of what MBTI is based on, has helped me to come to terms with these instincts and to better accept myself. I don't secretly want to correct people because I am mean or feel superior or get some sort of kick out of it. I value accuracy highly. I want to have all of the pertinent information in order to make the best decisions and judgements and if I encounter someone coming to a conclusion while clearly lacking information I want to address that. To me it seems helpful not only for that individual but to make the world a better place.
I instinctively value accuracy and thorough information more than I
value everybody's emotional comfort but I have been taught that this
perspective is wrong.
Over the course of my lifetime I've had to learn that most people do not want me to provide them with more information and that my method of doing it may also seem rather terse and blunt to people when to me it is just efficient. I've learned to pick and choose carefully when I might offer more or better information or suggest alternative viewpoints but not doing this is almost physically painful. Of course I am sometimes wrong myself, misinformed or poorly informed but if so I want to know.
Through study of personality and cognitive types and in learning about my own I am better able to see that I am not wrong but I am not typical and that is why it is difficult. That is why I do not fit well and may be perceived as wrong. It may be quite true that societies function best when most members are concerned with harmony and each others' emotional well being, but societies also need people who ask questions, point out flaws, challenge the status quo and are willing to go against the grain. It's just not easy to be that person. It doesn't lead to popularity though popularity has never been my goal. Squelching my own instincts and personality doesn't necessarily lead to my own personal happiness although I have been told that it will and it should, because are we not all happiest when there is harmony?
Perhaps not. I am beginning to think I sound like I have a martyr complex and that isn't what I mean at all. I can't pretend it isn't still a daily struggle to behave as expected and to balance my instincts with what I have been taught the society I live in values most. I find myself frustrated by little things, such as wandering around on Pinterest and encountering someone who cannot accurately identify warm colours or who thinks that introverts are always shy. And don't get me started on the grammatical and spelling errors! I confess I indulge a little in leaving corrective comments on some of the Pins I come across. I haven't got anything to lose there if I am ruffling feathers.
If there has been a missed chance in my life it is probably to have become an expert in something and then made a career out of disseminating information. I could never be an expert in anything by my own standards but at least I would be forgiven for spending so much time focused on attempting to force-feed information to people.