Wednesday, 14 June 2017

I'm Still Here...If You're Interested

My apologies to the very sweet people who read my blog, I have been quite caught up in life changes and not ready to write anything.  I think it is still somewhat an odd concept to me that there are readers and people who might wonder why I suddenly fell off the face of the earth.  For the past month and a half I have been very occupied with the process of making my home ready to be shared with my longtime boyfriend, transitioning from a long distance relationship to full time living together.  I don't know if I can even describe the emotions involved and I wasn't even aware of how intense they were for me until a day after he moved in and I had a bit of a physical collapse.  My body just gave in and I thought at first that I had a virus.  I was hot and chilled and I shook.  I ran to the bathroom often and then I collapsed in bed again.  It wasn't the way I imagined beginning the process of cohabitation, but I know I am with the right guy because he was just very sweet and soon I was back to my normal self again. 

My partner and I have been in a long distance relationship for nearly seven years, spending hours a day together online and developing a friendship and a relationship without ever having expected or intended to at first.  As time went by it was obvious to us that we had something we didn't want to lose but there were lives to sort out, there was a great distance to traverse.  By the time we decided to live together we were also meeting in person for the first time.  That's not the way most people do things but who wants to be ordinary?  We knew we were too well suited and too much in love not to be able to make things work out so we took the chance.  He got on a plane....three planes actually....and arrived at the end of May.  The time that has passed so far feels like minutes and also like years.   As someone who quite enjoys her space, likes living alone, values her independence, this felt like a very big step for me but I felt sure of it.  I knew it might be slightly difficult to adjust but that it would be worth it to share my space and time with a man who is my best friend, a soul mate, a partner and lucky me quite romantic too!   Two and a half weeks in and I have to say it feels completely normal and right.  Phew!

We both come from dysfunctional and abusive marriages, both happy to now be with someone who loves and values us for who we are but we aren't young and delusional either.  We are middle aged and set in our ways.  We know that there will be times when compromise, tolerance and forgiveness are needed.  While very much alike in many ways and very compatible there are some ways in which we are very different.  We also both live with chronic illness which allows for sympathy and understanding but we may need to cross our fingers that we have our bad days at different times so there is at least one person available to put the kettle on.  Mostly we hope to be able to help and support each other cope with physical setbacks and limitations and to some degree heal physically as much as we have helped each other heal emotionally already. 

Well this was not a typical post for me, but I have nothing to say about colour, personal style, growing out a pixie cut or about being an INTJ.  I have dabbled in painting but nothing new to share has emerged in the past month.  Life right now is a strange and wonderful sort of domestic honeymoon.   We have a motorcycle, a Honda Goldwing, which we take out on day trips sometimes and anticipate taking on a longer trip this summer.  Future posts may be motorcycle related at times.  My partner is working on weight loss and I am helping by providing a nutritious and varied low carbohydrate diet so as I experiment more with low carb cooking I would like to share some recipes here also.  I expect this blog to continue to be the usual mixture of my thoughts, experiences and efforts to live a full and rich life despite limitations.  It astonishes me really that there are actually people who read and follow along but as always my hope is just to connect with others and to inspire those living with chronic illnesses.  We all just keep on keeping on, meeting life's changes and challenges with a positive attitude and the hope of making the world a better place even in small ways. 

                             I recently turned fifty and had some help celebrating.

                                    We had a lovely short vacation in Tofino, BC


  1. Congratulations on your 50th Birthday, Shawna, and on (re)connecting with your soulmate! Maybe it's time to watch some good old As Time Goes By with Judi Dench and Geoffrey Palmer? :) All love stories are unique in some ways, and yours is wonderful and inspiring! You both look happy, and that's all that matters!

    Many wonderful (full of wonders!) years together, discovering, exploring and just being happy and being there for each other, to you and your sweetie!

    1. Thank you! I am still in a mental whirlwind but as you say, it's the just being there, the everday things that are the best. xoxo

  2. Lovely post. I'm lucky enough to be your friend on Facebook so I've been following your recent life there.

    1. LOL-I don't know if that makes you lucky but I know I am very glad you are my friend. xoxo

  3. Lovely to hear your thoughts behind the facebook photos. I am one of those crazy addicted readers who stalk your private life...or just a friend.
    Such a great result from your risky life move. I'm so happy for you.
    And lovely to have someone to get out and about with.
    Who would have expected motorcycle rides in your future?!
    Love that warm fireside shot, it really suits your colouring.
    Oh, and happy 50th!
    I beat you by 4 yrs. It's fun on this side of the hill :-)
    Xo Jazzy Jack

    1. Definitely a friend and therefore possessed of stalking rights. I thought I'd wait until I'd lived half a century before I started taking risks. I agree, this side of the hill is quite awesome. xoxo

  4. Awesome post Shawna ... I am jumping up and down here in South African with absolute joy for you. Your man looks so "right" ... you two match and I am so so so happy for you.

    Enjoy every minute of everything!


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