Saturday, 9 September 2017
Dabbling In Abstract Flowers
Recent dabblings in my art journals are a sign of getting back to my typical routines, taking some comfort in familiar behaviours, and a good reminder how much I need to do this. While the end result matters to me, this is very much about the process. Painting is the best meditation I can manage. It takes me out of the busy world of my own head and also allows me to shut out distractions from the outside world. Painting in a journal allows me to relax and allow mistakes, or a less than satisfactory result, without feeling distressed about money spent on materials wasted. Not that I don't still think that way at times, but a journal of paper is less expensive than a canvas. Paint is expensive so I tell myself it's in lieu of cigarettes or cappuccinos.
Summer has been busy and consisted mainly of a change in my routines as Jim and I work out new ones together. Initially it all felt like a holiday, but gradually we are settling into normal life without the need to pack in as many experiences as we can while the weather is good. I suspect we are both more than a little exhausted from the great trip to Oregon in order to view the eclipse in totality, something which I haven't documented here. September continues to bring pleasant weather with the odd reminder that autumn is coming thrown in. Today is one of those grey, windy and drizzly days though days of sun are mainly in the forecast for the next couple of weeks. As I write this, I have a chocolate cake in the oven and I am hoping for the best, since upon putting it in I realised I had halved the entire recipe except for the cup of cream. The batter did not seem at all strange, and both Jim and my son are more than willing to eat chocolate cake that lacks a little something in appearance but otherwise tastes like chocolate. It might be more of a pudding-cake which is not necessarily a bad thing.
Accidents can lead to new discoveries and the willingness to make mistakes is always appropriate. As someone with perfectionist tendencies I have to chant such a mantra to myself often. My default motto is that if a thing is worth doing, it's worth doing well. However there is a difference between making one's best effort and accepting one's errors or letting go in the learning process. Sharing my art and writing on this blog has been an exercise for me in showing my efforts when they have not reached perfection, and knowing they may never do so. I am more the sort of person who would only allow finished work, the best result to be seen, and even then I am so self-critical it's likely I wouldn't allow that either. Most of us are inclined to dislike criticism and I am no exception, though I may well be my own worst critic as the saying goes.